Hayley Williams Says She’s “Wanted to Not Be Here” Amid Struggles With Mental Health

Hayley Williams is getting real about her mental health.The Paramore singer recently discussed the low mental health state she entered after the band’s founding members Josh Farro and Zac Farro left the band in 2010, noting that she and remaining member Taylor York channeled the feelings in their self-titled 2013 album’s song “Last Hope.”

“I remember writing it and thinking, ‘This is so sad,’” Hayley explained during an appearance on Good Hang with Amy Poehler Dec. 1. “Unfortunately, it is how I feel. I’ve really struggled with my mental health and wanted to not be here plenty of times.”

As she put it, “That song kind of expressed that moment for me.”

But while the song used to remind Hayley of an extremely low point in her life, it has taken on a new meaning when she, Taylor and Zac—who rejoined the band in 2017—perform it for fans.

“Having that moment at a Paramore show, and feeling like everyone in the room has survived so many different things,” she shared. “We’re all here. Half of us will never see each other again. It really does something to those types of songs.”

The 36-year-old—who confirmed her romance with bandmate Taylor in 2022—admitted that “Last Hope” and songs like it have earned their own power through the performances.

“I wrote them in such isolation,” she explained, “and now here I am having to not only be a witness but bear witness to all these other experiences that have coalesced.”

Hayley isn’t the only performer to have an emotional song take on a new meaning when they perform it for the crowd. Olivia Rodrigo recently admitted that her ballad “pretty isn’t pretty,” which she penned about her own insecurities with beauty standards, has become one of her favorites to perform.

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“I like performing the song pretty isn’t pretty,” Olivia explained in a video shared to her TikTok account in August. “It’s not a single or like, the biggest hit on the album but I always remember looking out at the audience and there were always just a few girls who were really feeling it and that made such an impact on me.”

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Meanwhile, Taylor Swift has also emphasized that her break up song “All Too Well” is no longer about something heartbreaking at all.

“For me, this song has turned into a story of what the fans did” she explained on Good Morning America in 2022. “It’s such a special thing to look back on for me and sort of get to relive. It is pretty cool.”